Yuck.

Anytime you see a shirt that says "SEXY" across the chest, that shirt is lying.

Clips & Brews

A shop opened by my apartment that offers haircuts and beer on tap. Hopefully this is merely the first in a line of businesses catering exclusively to alcoholics.

#VH-1

Richard Page needs to fail at an assassination attempt. How can anyone consider their life complete if they've never seen the headline, "Mr. 'Mr. Mister' Missed Her."

#1882

Telegram recovered from 1882:

John, stop.
It's your cousin, stop.
Marvin, stop.
Marvin Philip Sousa, stop.
I've found that sound you're looking for, stop.

#Trois

France is a Sauvignon nation.

#1103

Daylight Savings Time is a little odd this year. Everyone remember to set your clocks four inches to the left.

#3492

Sports would be a lot more interesting if the members of the teams were more representative of the team names. For instance, the Jets versus the Giants... awesome.

#3302

"Bangarang" is generally not an acceptable term for use in corporate meetings.

#5308

Human beings are destructive by nature; there's no way around it. The key is to create more than we destroy. Art will save our species.

#1010

You've ordered me to update this
and I feel I must comply,
so I reached into my mind's abyss
and pulled out something wry.

Line after line of cheesy crap
flows from my fingertips,
and before you beat me with a strap
I have to tell you this:

You're the best listener I've ever met,
and you're really quite the pearl.
I hope to death you won't forget
you're my favorite emo girl.

Happy birthday.

An actual blog post!

After 12+ hours on the road:

• We stopped in Mount Shasta to make it so the car could start again - I failed to see why.
• Fears arose that I may not be able to cross the California border successfully because I never bought the expansion pack.
• Jimmy died of dysentery shortly after crossing the Oregon border.
• There was a short trip to the Moon(s over My-Hammy).
• We crossed the Hudson River.
• We discovered that the homeless and destitute in Washington are more well-rounded than the average Californian.
• We had a layover in Austin.
• There's a mysterious box with a hole in it on Sky's porch. It appears he has completed the first step of "a gift real special;" Alys checked it and it appeared there was no junk inside.

Sleep requests my presence now, more to come later.

#4701

I dreamed about you years ago.

#2216

You can suck a lollipop but you can't suckafish!

#3013

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world like this: ><

#n

^ Like everything else in life, these numbers are pretty much completely arbitrary.